2007 ValeDICtory Dinner

It's been a month since my last post, of which the sincerest of apologies will be given to everyone!

Today has been one action-packed day of insanity, shameless fun, and pure shock at the same time. Oh what a night!

It started lamely though, with the usual getting up late and missing breakfast routine, grabbing lunch and going to classes. I came back at around 4, watched an episode of Mythbusters and decided to catch a power nap. (Yes, I'm fatter if you have to ask, but I'm not a walking balloon yet!) Basically it was one of those lethargic days.Valedictory Dinner couldn't have come at a better time!

It was to be the last proper High Table function, as well as the last college party for the year 2007 in JCH. Though the usual High Table does have its sense of opulence, Valedictory Dinner was in a whole new level. With contrasting table cloths of blue and white canvassing the tables, and similarly-coloured balloons tied up at random spots, it turned out to be quite a spectacle. Tables were arranged so that a contiguous row of tables were put together in the middle. Students who were leaving took seat in the middle High Table, while the returning students (me included!) sat by the side.

Although the wine tasted as terrible as always, it was a welcoming moment to receive top-class cuisine again (Happened only once before if my memory serves me right). We gathered at the SCR (Senior Common Room), and bantered until we were told to enter the Dining Hall. It really is nice to see everyone dressed up as impeccably as possible, especially those who never dressed up before. I was actually stunned to see some girls I've never really noticed before appear in expensive dresses and looking dangerously beautiful. Such a bummer they are leaving.

And of course we could trust Dr Cameron to give a hilarious speech in honour of the departing students. Claire Weeden then orated a speech in honour of the returning students, and finally Olivia Jones with her general speech. The returning students then proceeded to the corridor connecting the Dining Hall to the SCR to become guards of honour to the departing students. It was pretty lame watching them past by under us until Rob started bashing the guys in the sensitive area as he walked past, only to be followed suit by BeerdEd (Edward Ellis). Will got hit the worst, and had to take a while off to recover. Hopefully his family jewels are still intact..

With that, we were off to the last JCH party of 2007! It took a while for people to trickle in as some were still conversing in the SCR, some were busy playing Halo and others were quietly waiting for booze to arrive. But it wasn'tlong before the party got started right! There are a few classics that absolutely has to be played in every party. They are:

• 500 Miles - The Proclaimers (It's such a great song to sing a long!)
• Holy Grail - Hunters & Collectors (It's an Aussie thing)
• Livin' On A Prayer - Bon Jovi (Another great song considering its lyric's relevance to our lives)
• The "Nakbush" Dance - Unknown ( I have absolutely no idea what's it's called, or who the artist is, but it's a song which everyone can dance to, since the steps are so easy to learn)
• I Don't Feel Like Dancing - Scissor Sisters (As mentioned before, this is this year's fresher dance, and I STILL do not know the dance moves. It's so hard to watch people and follow the crowd, but it's still all great fun!)
• Pump It - Black Eyed Peas (This is the Second Year Fresher Dance, and even harder than my year's dance)
• Play That Funky Music - Wild Cherry (Third Year Fresher Dance {I think}, pretty cool!)
• Closing Time - Semisonic (A song to end all parties, with the relevance of its lyrics , and especially more poignant today, considering it, really, was, closing time..)

Lousy phone camera has no clarity whatsoever. From left: Erykah, Adam, and Tim

And so the party went off for over four hours, with almost everyone dishing it out in the JCR, and having fun as best as they could! I know I did! Of course I did not drink as much as I would have, as I didn't want to be drunk again (that's what they told me, but I disagree) like last time. But still, letting loose is such a liberating feeling, and is a must-do for everyone out there! You can only truly see who you really are when you let go of all the physical and mental inhibitions. Trust me on this!

Big Ed

Big Ed carrying Beerded Ed by the legs as he swung BeerdEd around ballet-style. Pretty cool actually.

(Oh, but I did learn a neat trick of sculling today, taught by the evergreen Rob and Ed. Here's how it goes. A bottle of anything is the ideal object of sculling in this situation, aptly called the Torpedo. First, a straw with a minute diameter is placed in the drink and aimed downwards. Then your index finger should hold it firmly in place, but not too hard that it blocks the straw passage. With that, you scull the drink. The objective of the straw is to remove all the air from the bottle during sculling, thereby sending a whole stream of unadulterated alcohol straight through your throat, instead of the usual gulping down of the drink with a usual scull. Twice the speed of sculling, twice the burn in your throat, but great fun all the same!)

I blame the phone again

Unfortunately, my camera was destroyed during a previous JCH party (Trivia Night to be exact), and I have not had a camera since. And phone cameras are possibly the worst cameras to use in a dark place. Thus, there are almost no pictures of this great night. Bummer.

Alison and Steph not sure where to look at since I was taking the picture in the dark, lol..

Of course, as trite as it sounds, good times have to end, and that's exactly what happened as the lights were turned on and that dreaded Vitamin C song being played. Everyone just started saying goodbye, and giving orgies of hugs to anyone in sight.. Sigh..

And more goodbyes..

With that, we were asked to leave the JCR so cleaning could commence. Almost everyone then crammed into the Baige to decide on the next plan of action. And boy oh boy was it a plan of action!

Just a random video of absolute randomness

As much as the balls-punching during Guards of Honour thing was considered an ungodly but neccessary and absolutely fun JCH tradition, the same went for the Nudie Run. Yes, a nude run across Royal Parade and into public areas. I'm totally not kidding! At first I thought it was a big joke, so I ran upstairs to grab my wallet and passport, thinking that we were going to a night club or something to continue the party, only to see people stripping their clothes off and running aimlessly into the streets, with the biggest grins in their faces.

Of course, at first, I thought it was down to underwears only, until I saw someone walk past stark naked, with a sheepish smile to make the whole situation even more absurd. As rightly stated in the rules of the Nudie Run, no cameras were allowed in this "to be one with nature" journey, so as to prevent perverts from doing anything untowards the videos/pictures as well as making sure that the police will not be able to identify the perpetrators if they were to be called. After all, it is illegal in pretty much almost everywhere! I shall also refrain from naming people, so as to respect their privacy (ironic indeed)

But I have no choice but to mention Edward Ellis. As mentioned before, I have repeatedly said that Ed is possibly one of the most incendiary person I've ever met, and he rightly justified that by baring all, strutting down the street in his naked glory. Where others would sheepishly cover their genitals with a sock or cowardly still keep their boxers on (I am ashamed to confess that I could not find the courage to let loose my boxers into the wilderness), Ed rode the street like he owned it, and had this apparently innocuous smile on his face.

Obviously, with naked guys and girls walking in the middle of a major street, you would expect us to be a major source of attention. Unfortunately, we finally realised that drivers at night are practically blind to everything except the road directly in front of them. For a while, no one even stole a look back. However, that all changed when we reached a traffic light. I could just imagine the looks on the drivers' faces as they witness a group of nature-loving nudes stroll down the road to Princess Park. And for all that effort we received a honk or two, thereby confirming the aphorism, "Honk If You're Horny".

At Princess Park, more people bared their souls to the world as the darkness concealed most body parts. We then sat around in a circle on the wet and obscenely cold grass. We tried to talk about philosophy, but everyone was too drunk to start any conversation with an ounce of intelligence in it. Jean then started playing Duck and Goose, but Alex didn't really continue the game, and it petered out. After a few freezing minutes, we decided it best to go home. And with that, we picked ourselves up and headed back home.

Ed then had this great idea of being a Road Guard to all of us. At the zebra crossing, he stood in front of cars and stuck his hand out, signalling the metaphorical "Stop" sign, while the headlights of the cars highlighted everything for the drivers to see. Hilarious stuff indeed. We actually got a few honks of this one truck. Further ahead, Ed thought it to be a great idea to see if he could grab a taxi back to JCH, even though JCH was only 10 meters away. The first few taxis just drove past, but finally one turned on its left signal and headed towards Ed. However, it just zoomed past the boys, but only to do a U-turn to head for the girls. Big surprise there. After a minute or two of intensive negotiations, Ed and his entourage managed to get the taxi to send their naked bums back to JCH. Best part was, he didn't charge them for it! I guess giving the excuse that you forgot your wallet is valid in this particular situation..

And so, here I am, blogging about this unforgettable night, still in my boxers alone, and feeling super cold. When I headed to my room, a portion of them decided to head off to the Newman College Chapel, still in their birthday suit. I'm not sure what they did exactly at the chapel, but desecration would probably be a good word to describe their actions. I guess we're all going to hell, but the important part is that we go to hell as a team!

Jokes and stunts aside, it has been a day surrounded by ambivalence, and perhaps a tinge of nostalgia. I remember not too long ago, I was waving goodbye to my friends as I entered the departure gates. I had just left all my friends behind to experience a whole new way of life in another country. I came to Melbourne Uni, and then JCH, not knowing what to expect. Though I met Sven in the first week of uni, life in JCH was hard at the start. Not knowing anyone was quite a blow to my already fragile mindset, and I wasn't really enjoying myself too much.

Then I started hanging out with Sven, who turned out to be a cool dude, as well as getting to know the JCH'ers one by one. Life got a whole lot better after that, and I could actually forget about trying to make friends, and start being a friend. Fast forward a few months later, and here I am at the crossroads again. This time, however, I shall be the one standing back and waving to those who will proceed with their lives. It seemed only a while ago when I met Sven, Ed, Adam, and many more, and now again I find myself saying those dreaded goodbyes to the departing people.

I guess it was a good lesson to learn, that life, as exciting as it is, is merely a transitional period between birth and death, and quite frankly, too short for comfort. I guess it was also a good lesson to everyone to appreciate your friends more, as they actually do come and go, hopefully only in the physical sense.

I guess that's the end of my protracted spiel (partly to make up for the long period of absence). To everyone who will be leaving, f*ck you for leaving, but thank you for the great moments that we've shared, however transient it may have been. It was an absolute pleasure sharing my life with you, as well as sharing your life with mine. To the best of luck in your future endeavours, I bid thee adieu...

Shit, morning duty tomorrow at 7, and it's already bloody 3:30 in the morning..